The Fringe Society really hold your hand when you sign up to do a show. They send you emails saying “get your press release done this week” with loads of attachments telling you how to do it. “Got your posters ordered? Here’s some we liked from last year” Brilliant. That all needs to be done by about January.
So, last year I sent out lots of posters and flyers, did a whole bunch of SoMe promotion, told EVERYONE, including anyone. Spent about 3 solid months promoting Gusset Grippers before speaking one word into a mic.
This year, I’m a last-minute show. So, there’s not an entry in the Big Pink Fringe Book. And, the playgroups/nurseries don’t know that I’m on. And, to my surprise, flier-ing is Quite Hard.
Here’s how it goes:
1. Scan crowds for likely looking audience material.
2. Attempt eye contact with subject. Alternatively, sidle up. Or just body stop her.
3. “Show about pelvic floors? Voted weirdest show of the Fringe last year!” Thrust flier forwards, preferably with a wee flourish and a big smile.
4. Watch as her face changes to a glare, and her eyes flick to her partner. (Uh oh).
5. Awkwardly quip “accepting this flier is not an admission of incontinence”.
6. Watch her stride off, indignantly accepting fliers from the Giant Haggis, Zombie Acapella Choir and three Mary Queen of Scots in a row.
Guess I’ve got a Wee-Dar. It’s no use running after her whispering “me too! It’s curable! You don’t need to put up with it! Come and see my show, we’ll laugh and not leak!” Tried it. Made her cross. More cross, actually.
I am going to try playing dirty. I have about 400 samples of “intimate wash” left which I am giving away at the show. Free soap with an attached flier?
Wish me luck.
Oh, and, here’s YOUR flier – Gusset Grippers, 1940 hrs, venue 430, the George Next Door, 9 George IV Bridge (just next to the bit of the bridge where you can keek over into the Cowgate) Am downstairs. Possibly, alone. You don’t want that for me, do you?
Fringe Whinge Ends.